Monday, February 24, 2014
Over the weekend I had a nice conversation with my oldest sister. After catching up on a few things, she let me know she was thinking about putting her house on the market as she explained the scenario I understand the need and want to. But at the same time my mind raced back to all the memories of the house. This house was built by my grandparents and has been in the family ever since. Some memories are awful, and have never left a scar so deep. Others make me smile and laugh, home is home no matter what has been inside those four walls. The past 5 years my sister has done all she can to make it work for a family of 6: 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom just enough. She has remodeled a lot, however the precious markings still remain on the walls. The summer Kasey left us, he marked his height inside the front door, outside he wrote his name in cement. This are small tokens that remind us of his presence, something he wrote, and something we can picture him doing with a smirk on his face. These are the things that make it hard for me to let go. I remember the day my old bedroom walls got painted, covering all the drawings he drew next to where my bed use to lay. Slowly, I let go of the anger and appreciated my newly painted walls, because the memories were still there. I could still picture him coming in on Saturday mornings asking if I'd get up so we could watch cartoons. The thought of never walking into those doors again leaves me with a heavy heart, however I must remember those are just things. I will always have the memories.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Recently, I have found out that my niece Mackenzie was named this years Eastern Oregon Shriner's Princess. Words can not describe how happy I am for her because this has been a long, tiring, and hurtful process for her. I don't remember exactly when Mackenzie was diagnosed with Scoliosis at the age of 7. From that time on she wore a brace nightly to help correct the curvature in her spine. As she grew up, the curvature began to get worse. She was required to wear the brace for the majority of the day and in school. However, for a young person this was hard to do and very uncomfortable to sit in a school chair. By the time Mackenzie turned 13 the brace was no longer correcting the curvature, and it became about a 51 degree curve. Shriner's had held out as long as they could without doing surgery. The importance of waiting this long was to allow the patient to grow because once they fused the spine together the could no longer grow. When Mackenzie went in for surgery the degree had worsened to 70, she an 13 year old with a birthday in less than 19 days away. In scoliosis surgery, surgeons attach tiny metal hooks or screws to the spine and connect those hooks or screws to small rods to straighten the spinal curve. Mackenzie underwent this surgery in which they had to fuse together 12 vertebrae's put in two rods and 21 screws. The surgery lasted what felt like forever, and was just the beginning of a long healing process. As Mackenzie stayed at Shriner's, I saw the worst and the best of her. She is the sweetest and quietest girl I have ever met. To see her in that kind of pain with nurses who didn't fulfill their duties was heartbreaking to watch. Not to mention Shriner's is a 5 and half hour drive from home. Mackenzie missed out on many activities as a freshman including volleyball and basketball, and going to the lake during the summer. Basically any activity that was considered "rough". As the healing process continued sure the scar was healing but there was a lot of pain she faced from just sitting that I couldn't imagine. Mackenzie currently is getting ready for her second season at the varsity level softball, this is her sport. However, many days she will come home hurting or upset that she had to sit out at practice because swinging a bat caused her pain. She has never been one to let her team down and she has a hard time listening to her body say that is enough. Although it has been a year and a half since her surgery she will feel the effects for a life time. I can not imagine being in her shoes. Anyways, Mackenzie isn't just a niece to me, she is one of my best friends someone I can tell absolutely anything to (and she will usually laugh and look at me like I'm a Joke). She is motivated and talented, she excels in everything she does and works so hard for what she has. To hear that she has been given the honor to represent Shriner's makes me have goosebumps, this is something she is truly deserving of and she will be a great representative of all the kids who go through Shriner's. I am very excited to see her wear a crown through the many parades she will be apart of. I am soooo lucky to have such an amazing niece who has gone through so much, and who has taught me a lot about life. She may only be 15 but she is the strongest girl I have met that still has a positive outlook on life. Below are the before and after pictures
Monday, February 10, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Over the weekend I received an unexpected call from my bubba,also known as Luke (my big brother). Luke is 11 years older than me and has always been my hero.Literally in every aspect of my life. You know how little girls look up to their dads? Not me, I look up to my brother.Currently he lives in Texas and I hadn't spoken to him in quite sometime because his phone broke and well he didn't want to spend time getting it fixed. Anyways we talked about the normal stuff, kids, school, work, romance so on so forth. Then I asked him if he had gone to see the Lone Survivor yet. Luke spent 8 years in the Navy putting computer tracking systems into military airplanes and helicopters and is still doing it today just not under the Navy. A few summers ago he sent me this book to read, it was a must, and he would force me to read it if he had too. Well that wasn't the case, it took me less than a week to finish it on a fire assignment. We discussed the difference in the book and movie and I was shocked by how much he remembered. Every little detail, he knew this book front to back and to be honest I had his copy. It made me realize how much we forget when it comes to details and reinforces why most the time books are better than movies. As our conversation ended he called me boo boo, I smiled thinking to myself I am 22 and he is still giving me nicknames. However that was the best part of our conversation. I know, that no matter where this guy is he will always have my back and will always be there for me. He is not only my brother and father figure but my best friend. So I thought I would share a poem with y'all I wrote a few years ago as a Christmas gift to him. This poem is about his relationship with my little brother we lost and how I viewed there relationship.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Today, as I sat back in my fourth grade practicum, I listened to the teacher tell the students about today in history. Today, in 1986 space shuttle Challenger took off from Cape Canaveral, Florida, yet ended very tragically. This was a chance for ordinary people to explore space, people like you and I. A teacher, I'll say it again a "teacher" was aboard the shuttle to be set free into space. 73 seconds later, the shuttle exploded in mid air as millions of viewers watched. Today, in class as this was being talked about boys were saying things like "cool", "wow, thats awesome", "I want to see this".. Instantly my heart grew heavy, these children do not understand. No, it wasn't their fault, the teacher never mentioned anyone dying, or maybe they didn't read between the lines, like I had. Never had I heard that the takeoff was delayed six days due to weather and technical difficulties. Although this may have seemed long, those six days were a gift to the families of those lost, a gift no one recognized until the fateful day was over. As the unnecessary comments continued throughout the classroom, my stomach turned. As we watched the live footage from 1986, that seventy-three seconds seemed like a lifetime to me. A lifetime full of hope, new possibilities, adventure, only to be cut short without notice. Finally the teacher addressed the issue of the comments, "have some respect, people died you know," she said. No I don't think they realized it, until you just said that. But I hope for a second that their young souls can feel sorrow. That they can recognize when something hurts many others. Sure, they weren't alive, but someday they will want the sympathy many of those families still do today. Today, in history....
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Every week day, I get up and make Corey his lunch for the day. Yes, he is lucky and he knows it. There is just something about food. I love it! All of it, especially sweets. Anyways the last few weeks we have made an a dinner list for two week periods and then not go to the store during this time because we are trying to stay on budget haha thats a joke. So anyways,today after I have left for my classes Corey asked me if I wanted twice baked potatoes, or homemade mashed potatoes. Lets just say I struggled with the decision, his twice baked potatoes make my mouth water just thinking about them. However, now that we have been together for two and half years he has made them probably 10 times more a year then he used to, like at least once a week if not more. Anyways, I decided to have him make mashed potatoes and I started them when I got home.....But I am NOT a cook! I attempt every now again but its not my cup of tea, unless it is a desert. So I had the potatoes boiling for at least an hour before he got home, and then of course those were finished before the main dish. So there I sat there fake crying for food, and I'm serious, like waaaaing for at least 30 seconds because I think I'm starving. "Just bring me a plate full of potatoes and gravy pleaaaasssee," I beg. Well when dinner is finally ready, he brought me literally a half plate full of mashed potatoes, by this point I wasn't even hungry anymore. I stare at the plate, and laugh hysterically, I cannot believe my eyes. He's got to be joking right. Nope I asked for a plate full and thats what I got. Lets just say I didn't finish them. The entire time I was eating all I thought to myself was why didn't he just save them so I could eat left overs tomorrow. I was getting mad, because this was obviously a waste of food. But then I walked into the kitchen and saw one of the large mixing bowls still half full of potatoes. Apparently, I wasn't suppose to cut peel and cut up 8 potatoes to boil. How was I suppose to know?? Now here is a little history of Corey and I. In 2010 he was the IC (incident Commander) of Rail Canyon Fire. This was my first fire, and I was the one to spot this fire and call it in after a storm passed. He worked on the repel crew, and I am on a hand crew. At this time he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend. A few months pass and he starts talking to me on facebook and I literally have no idea who he is, or why he is talking to me. His pick up line was "I'll be your huckleberry" from Tumbstone, a movie at that time I had never heard of. We began talking daily, on the internet, and I would never answer my phone when he called because I was nervous. How childish, I know. Our first date, he took me to the local car show dance, which was full of older people like 50+, no one my age at all. Then I went back home for the the fire season, and he transferred to the local district to be on an engine. And there it began, we actually went on assignment together and my boss was the Crew boss of that assignment so we kept it hush, hush.I became impressed with his fire knowledge, and of course his good looks. I then traveled to South Carolina with him that winter and we got a puppy together. October of this year he proposed, on a god awful hike. I was not pleasant to be around. But all in all I wouldn't trade him or his cooking for anything else (:
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
It’s a new year, yet I’m still doing the same things. As time changes, how many of us really change? Today my table is covered with random papers, notebooks, binders, textbooks, and of course a few snacks. Every morning I wake up, drink coffee, get ready, eat breakfast and watch the news. This probably sounds familiar to many of you. As my day progresses I go to school for hours on end, walk or play fetch with my dog, do some homework, and watch t.v. Does my life not sound boring? Today, I’m doing the same movements I did yesterday, as I will tomorrow. As I reflect on this year, I realize although my life is not changing drastically every moment, I am happy for who I am and what I have become. I am happy everyday being around my Fiancé, enjoying the beauty of what surrounds me, and making the most out of everything. I have recognized too young that life does not work how you want it and those that you love will leave this world way before “they are suppose to”. It made me bitter, but also more thankful. As the New Year begins I challenge myself to recognize the change that has personally challenged me throughout the year. More so, I challenge myself not to be bitter, but to be better and find the beauty in each situation. However, I can guarantee that tomorrow my coffee table will still be covered, and I will still drink coffee and watch the daily news and I don’t plan to change that.