Monday, February 24, 2014

The House That Built Me

Over the weekend I had a nice conversation with my oldest sister. After catching up on a few things, she let me know she was thinking about putting her house on the market as she explained the scenario I understand the need and want to. But at the same time my mind raced back to all the memories of the house. This house was built by my grandparents and has been in the family ever since. Some memories are awful, and have never left a scar so deep. Others make me smile and laugh, home is home no matter what has been inside those four walls. The past 5 years my sister has done all she can to make it work for a family of 6: 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom just enough. She has remodeled a lot, however the precious markings still remain on the walls. The summer Kasey left us, he marked his height inside the front door, outside he wrote his name in cement. This are small tokens that remind us of his presence, something he wrote, and something we can picture him doing with a smirk on his face. These are the things that make it hard for me to let go. I remember the day my old bedroom walls got painted, covering all the drawings he drew next to where my bed use to lay. Slowly, I let go of the anger and appreciated my newly painted walls, because the memories were still there. I could still picture him coming in on Saturday mornings asking if I'd get up so we could watch cartoons. The thought of never walking into those doors again leaves me with a heavy heart, however I must remember those are just things. I will always have the memories.
Front Porch Gatherings

8 comments:

  1. That is so hard to think of something not being in the family. My grandpa built the house where my dad grew up and they told many stories of their adventures when they were in transition between the old house and the house they built (including living in the chicken coop for part of the process). It is hard to drive past it now that it is not in the family. I can see why you have added layers of making this difficult. I am glad that you are focusing on your memories though.

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  2. You beautifully weave the present and the past, the sadness of loss and the strength of memories. You have a perfect final thought.

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  3. Wow! This is a powerful post--so full of emotions. Your sister's house is full of memories. If you are doing the March daily slicing, I'd love to read more about some of them!

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  4. Your poignant post hits at the heart of how our homes can trigger memories. It's not the "physical home" that we love; rather, it's those powerful memories those walls trigger. It's the memories we want to hold tight.

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  5. So many emotions, memories, ties to the past that are hard to let go. Yet hope for the future. Beautiful.

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  6. This is such a touching post. I am glad you are allowing the memories to be enough...but I know it must be difficult to think that the house will no longer be in the family. Take lots of pictures. Jackie http://familytrove.blogspot.com/

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  7. This post was very touching, I had goose bumps the entire time I was reading it. It's very hard to let go of the things you want to keep forever, but you are completely right, those are just things you still have the memories.

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  8. sorry this post is kind of late: but I was going back and reading different posts and this one struck me. I think change is valuable even though it can be scary at times. I really admire your choice to hold on to the memories, but allow yourself to let go of the house. =)

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